Shampoo

So the other day I took a shower. And by doing so, I came to a not so subtle and quite unsettling realization: If I don't do something to get my hair under control, it may take over.

You are probably thinking: That's weird.

My Response would be: Yeah it is. Think about it.

When I was a child, I was practically hairless. I had a buzz cut and that was about the extent of my hair accumulation. But slowly over time without me really noticing or giving it much thought it had begun to increase its domain. Until one day when I took off my shirt and much to my surprise I was being attacked by a badger!

Well as luck turned out it wasn't really a badger; just a bunch of hair.

So here I am mid twenties covered in hair.

You are probably thinking: That's not really that unusual. There are a ton of guys who have a hairy chest. If you were in your twenties in the mid eighties that may have even worked to your advantage when trying to attract the opposite sex.

My Response: Yeah, maybe, but have you ever looked at shampoo bottles or any other hair product containers?

The reason I ask this is: That other day when I was showering, I poured the recommended amount of grapeseed extract and pomegranate shampoo into the palm of my hand. Before I could be sucked into the "herbal escape" the bottle alluded to, I noticed something quite unnerving.

I will answer before you can ask: No, it was not the kind of creepy old man looking in the window. It was the word "strengthening" written so boldly, yet so subtly right in the middle of the bottle hidden between dreams of an herbal escape and purifying goodness of grapeseeds and pomegranates.

I began to realize at that moment, I could potentially be putting myself in more danger than I ever have before. I started looking at the other bottles in the shower. Body, Volume, Sexy, Multivitamin, Anti-Breakage, and the list continues.

I created a monster!

My whole life I had been feeding this patch of fuzz on my scalp with all the ingredients it need to grow and become more powerful than me.  It had been slowly building up its forces over an extended period of time just waiting for the day that I make the mistake and use "animating" shampoo, or some other invigorating type of hair product.

So just a warning to you out there: If you ever see me and I am strong, sexy, full of body and volume; beware, it's not me. It's my hair.

huh?
weird.